It's Okay to Hurt

Sent by Lauren Jane Heller    |    March 30, 2022

I feel your heart and your devotion. I feel your heartbreak and your fear and your shame. You are human and you are beautiful. The fact that you are allowing yourself to feel all of these things is magnificent.

Your closest friends and family members are not on the same journey you are. They have their own journeys. They create their own realities. I know sometimes you feel completely misunderstood and alone. I know it can hurt so deeply you think you will shatter into a million pieces. The truth is that you won’t. You get to choose which reality you choose. You are strong. You are whole. 

Sometimes it is simply a matter of time for others to be lifted by our choices to find our true selves and live from that place. They might not show curiosity or openness because they are afraid and reactive. They believe the stories they are telling themselves. When we are afraid, our higher reasoning shuts down and it can feel impossible to get out of our heads, out of the thought patterns that keep us feeling like we are in danger. Others may see your choices as dangerous and selfish. You know that they are not. This does not mean that these people are not worthy of your love, devotion and compassion. It simply means that they are human and afraid. 

Give yourself compassion. Allow your nervous system to calm itself. You are strong. There will be storms. If you come back to yourself, you will find your anchor. The people who trigger us the most as we continue on these journeys of finding ourselves tend to be those closest to us. Remember that and keep coming home to yourself. 

I hope that these struggles may lead to breakthroughs. I hope that you continue your work even when it’s hard and remember that no matter what you choose, you are on your journey. Trust your voice and your truth. No one can take that away from you. You get to choose how you assemble your reality. 

You are not broken but you are hurting. That is perfectly okay. 

My only wish for you is that you continue to dig deep and ask yourself what you truly want. I know that right now it may feel impossible but my guess is that your loved ones will be in awe of your strength and certainty if you choose integrity over fear. You get to be a teacher. Trust yourself.

Love always, 

LJ