Do You Get Trapped in Time Scarcity?

Sent by Lauren Jane Heller    |    June 4, 2021

Do you get trapped in time scarcity? There are so many things you want from life: to excel in your career, be an awesome partner and parent, stay fit, connect with friends, have adventures, visit family, take personal time... 

And you can have all of those things. But it means learning to set boundaries. It means recognizing how much time you spend doing things you don’t need to do and don’t enjoy because you simply thought you had to. 

If you feel like your time is being stolen by all of your responsibilities and commitments, chances are you’re not recognizing that you do have the power to say “no”. You have the power to renegotiate your commitments. You have the power to check in with yourself before saying “yes” to see why you’re really agreeing to something. 

Are you saying yes because you don’t want that person to think less of you? You don’t want to miss out on an amazing opportunity? You need to prove yourself? Maybe this new thing sounds super exciting — and you can fit it in. Of course, you can! But at what cost?  

I get it. I wanted it all and I bit off more than I could chew. Until I learned to say “no”, I spent a lot of time feeling overwhelmed. I was so caught up with what other people thought of me, with being a supermom: brilliant and amazing and fun and generous, "such a powerhouse”, that I rarely paused before agreeing to something new, even if I knew deep down that I was already too busy and it would create more overwhelm and stress.

And then I learned to tune in and listen to my body. I learned to reframe my “no”. I started paying more attention to the stories I was telling myself about why I should do something or shouldn’t put myself first. And suddenly...I had so much time! 

I get things done so much more easily and effectively. I don’t feel bad or “should” on myself when I don’t want to do something. And here’s the biggest realization I had when I started learning to tune into my “no”: When I don’t give myself the space to do the things that bring me energy and joy, help me to shine and spread my unique gifts, when I say yes to all the things I don’t want to do, I’m not just depriving myself, I’m depriving my kids, my community, the world of my energy and unique brilliance. 

How to shift? It starts with nothing more complicated than noticing when you’re doing something you don’t want to do or that feels draining and then getting *curious* about it. Once you start to wonder about all the ways you could do things differently, a whole world of possibilities opens up. And suddenly you’re setting boundaries left and right and you have all the time in the world.